This week, we didn't fast on Friday again. If we keep this up, I'm going to have to think of a new name! I actually learned a very good lesson this week. I learned that there is a fine line between being disciplined and legalistic.
As you know from before, I usually do fine with the fast until about dinner time. I really have a hard time with making food and not being able to eat it. All the yummy smells that waft into my nose as I'm preparing the children's food just take a hold of me. But at the same time, there has to be some sacrifice on my part. You really can't grow closer to someone or God without giving yourself up to some degree. In this sacrifice, we find that we are not only stronger in God but a stronger person in general. So I knew that I had to suck it up and deal with it. But where does it go from a sacrifice to a legalistic action that has to be done?
As a Christian, we are told that there are so many things that we should be doing to draw closer to God. But if we do them just because we have to, we are not getting to the core of the issue. God does not want us to be robots, that's why we have free will. We need to also have the right attitude about it. I'm reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and I think he hits it on the nail when he says; "We're not just after the imitation of Christ's actions in our home. We also want to model Christ's spirit and attitude."( pg. 191). Our heart has to be in the right place when we are doing our acts of worship. What is the point of fasting if you are grumbling the whole time?
After the kids went to bed, I decided that it was not worth it to continue fasting for the rest of the night because I was definitely starting to grumble about it. And therein, I learned my lesson. I could've continued my fast and and be upset that I had to do it. But instead, I choose to end it early and be thankful to God that I was able to last as long as I did and appreciate God for carrying me the whole day. Because in the end, there is nothing that I can do apart from Christ. (John 15:5).
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